taboo

I think almost every guy deals with this, so I don't feel bad posting this on the internet where my friends can read it. If your opinion changes of me, it's probably closer to where I want it to be. If you don't want to know, don't read. I am expressing my thoughts about sex.
Breaking away from sexuality?
so, obviously, when my body wants to get rid of excess semen, or whatever the biological reason for for my sexual desires comes about, my body or brain tries to put me into situations that help me to get to orgasm. My brain tries to get me away from other people, watch porn, have fantasies about girls, put girls into situations where/when I can have sex. My mind/body will focus on whatever it takes until I reach orgasm to fulfill that biological need. It's extremely hard to get away from all situations that lead to the act and orgasm.
After I have an orgasm, I can concentrate much better on other things, for a little while anyway.
What do I do to best rid myself of the degrading thought processes?
If I masturbate a lot, so that I can concentrate afterwards, I will become addicted, so I won't be able to think of much else my whole life, so that's not an option. If I masturbate once a week or once every two weeks, I'll probably go through withdrawal very often as my body tries to get me to masturbate more after the once per however many weeks, and that sucks like crazy.. Is it healthy to stop all together? If and when I get married, is there a healthy way to come back into having sex if I stop? I think whenever I was in the junior high/high school age, the longest I ever stopped was about a year. More recently, I only stop for a few months at a time before coming back to it daily.
It seems like nobody ever talks about this.. so there. bam.

love vs dating

The reason why I started at why I think sexuality is degrading is that even though it seems to be obvious, so many people act and talk as if the opposite were true. Chasing girls is just something every guy does and should do. It's just the way it is. If you don't "date," there must be something wrong with you. If you're not shamelessly following your penis, then you're a coward who doesn't have the balls to initiate some kind of relationship.
"Why don't guys ask girls out when they like them?" Maybe it's just from the people I'm around, but it's expected that if a guy "has a crush" on a girl, he should use that as motivation to form a relationship to get what he wants. I don't think girls comprehend exactly what they're saying. Maybe girls think that when guys "like" them, it's because they're so attracted to her personality, characteristics and depth of being that they can't take their eyes off of her. A crush is the opposite of understanding. It is infatuation. If a person wants a lasting, intimate and rewarding relationship, the last thing he/she should base that relationship on is whatever was the basis of the crush.
Once again, this seems to be obvious, but this crush thing seems to be the basis of so many relationships, and it's easy to get stuck in the cycle of following those feelings.

I have to admit, I have felt kind of left out since I haven't really been a part of the whole dating thing. I guess, I've just wanted to stay away from following those feelings, and have the girl know in the end how shallow my reasoning for forming a relationship with her was.. which is why I guess I've stayed away from relationships with girls since i was little

degrading nature of sexuality

Is our sexuality degrading? Whenever sexuality, or my desire to have sex with women, started awakening in me when I was little I couldn't help but know that it was degrading. My mind gave a different kind of worth to those I hadn't given that kind of blind biased worth to. I pretty much saw most people as equal except for people who were older than me, which I think I still give people who are older than me some different type of respect I don't give to people younger than me. Obviously, I also gave a type of worth to people who could do cool things, like burp their abc's, run faster than me, or do anything better than me. It's not that women didn't deserve that worth, but I gave them worth for the wrong reason, and maybe that's what made me sick to my stomach. In an instant, women, in my mind, could lose that worth. Clearly, this was complicated. The truth does not change. Women can't have this intense worth (sexual) in one moment, and in the next moment lose it. As a kid, you don't really know what to do. This hunger couldn't be satiated by food, something unconscious. As a kid, I hated myself every time I fell pray to the same prank my mind would play on me. I never hated myself after eating, I guess because food isn't personal. Every women has distinct characteristics, a unique personality, individual thoughts, and infinite other sides to them, and in this mental and physical sexual process, I think my mind loses sight of this "spirituality" inherent in every human alive and gives massive temporary worth to whatever is connected to my sexuality.